Meet the spartans empire review season

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meet the spartans empire review season

Meet the Spartans is a American parody film directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron . The film received overwhelmingly negative reviews from critics. Meet the Spartans At an early Friday showing at the AMC Empire on 42nd Street in New York (naturally, there were no advance press. Critic Reviews for Meet the Spartans Jan 30, | Rating: C+ | Full Review to label it a 'movie' and thus reflect shame upon the entire medium of film.

The first, an ugly, talking baby ogre Shrek the Thirdis abandoned to die for its deformity; while the second, who is Vietnamese, is adopted by Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

meet the spartans empire review season

The third, Leonidasis accepted as a Spartan for his already-present muscular physique and prepared for kinghood through brutal training. An adult Leonidas Sean Maguire is cast out into the wild, survives the harsh winter, and hunts down a gangsta penguin Happy Feet. Returning a king for his inauguration wearing a penguin skin hat, Leonidas sees Margo Carmen Electra erotically dancing and asks her to marry him, to which she responds by giving him the combination to her armor-plated chastity belt.

Years later, Leonidas is training his son when Captain Kevin Sorbo informs him that a Persian messenger has arrived. Accompanied by the Spartan politician Traitoro, the messenger presents Xerxes ' demands for Sparta's submission.

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After growing angry with both the messenger's disrespect and finding him making out with his wife, Leonidas kicks him into a pit. Despite Traitoro's advice that the messenger's guards are now needed to convey the actual message, Leonidas kicks them in as well, along with several other people he simply dislikes, such as Britney Spears Nicole ParkerRyan Seacrestand the American Idol ju dg es.

Resolving to face the PersiansLeonidas visits the prophets and gives them medicines such as Neutrogena as their price for their consultation. They advise him that he should consult the Oracle for any advice. The Oracle, Ugly Bettyreveals that Leonidas will die should he go to war. After reaching a decision while spending the night with his wife, Leonidas meets the soldiers assembled for his departure to Thermopylaeand finds that only thirteen were accepted in the army due to stringent requirements.

meet the spartans empire review season

Among them are Captain, his son Sonio, and a slightly unfit Spartan named Dilio. Once at the Hot Gates, they encounter a deformed Paris Hilton also played by Parkerwho tells Leonidas and the Captain about a secret goat path above the Hot Gates that Xerxes could use to outflank the Spartans. When she asks to be made a Spartan soldier, Leonidas rejects her as unqualified due to her inability to use a spear correctly.

meet the spartans empire review season

Leonidas and his platoon soon face off with Xerxes' messenger and his Immortals, beating them in a dance contest before driving them off a cliff. Repetitiveness was the only word that comes to mind when watching this.

King Leonidas knocks a messenger in the hole, then his two men.

Meet the Spartans () - IMDb

Okay, not funny, but at least it's over After the credits seem to be over, deleted scenes are shown simply to make the movie more than 70 minutes. During the deleted scenes, Dane Cook, George W. Bush, Tom Cruise, and Ellen Degeneres are also knocked in the hole. The joke is done 10 times over. The two extremely untalented writers of this mess want to include every movie possible, and mention every celebrity they can, and include any show they can cram in.

There are 3 instances of celebrity panels judging the Spartans in this, and it's not like it was a running joke either. It was just lack of ideas. Much of the celebrity humor was just the celebrities pointing out their character traits. Paris Hilton, who is in a few scenes, but ultimately disappears with no point, talks about her jail time. Brittany Spears acts crazy.

Cinematic Excrement - Episode 16: Meet the Spartans part 2

Lindsey Lohan gets out of rehab. Tyra Banks shows her cellulite. And every other celebrity that is made fun of, has the exact same role. Also, there is a joke in poor taste. When Leonidas is going to be killed by a talking penguin, it says, "Say hi to Anna Nicole Smith for me. References to TV were thrown around, usually making no sense and totally pointless. Ugly Betty is the oracle.

meet the spartans empire review season

The movies were also thrown about all over so people in the audience could say, "Duh, I know what they're referencing.