Meet the Spartans - Wikipedia
Meet the Spartans is a comedy film, spoofing , to be precise, wherein (Leonidas does the exact opposite) Stop throwing people into the Pit of Death!. the REGENCY and MEET THE SPARTANS title. TEENAGE LEONIDAS (16, portrayed by Sean Maguire, who is .. Leonidas motions to the pit and Seacrest. Meet the Spartans () on IMDb: Movies, TV, Celebs, and more What is the difference between the theatrical and unrated editions of "Meet the Spartans"?.
Accompanied by the Spartan politician Traitoro, the messenger presents Xerxes ' demands for Sparta's submission. After growing angry with both the messenger's disrespect and finding him making out with his wife, Leonidas kicks him into a pit. Despite Traitoro's advice that the messenger's guards are now needed to convey the actual message, Leonidas kicks them in as well, along with several other people he simply dislikes, such as Britney Spears Nicole ParkerRyan Seacrestand the American Idol ju dg es.
Resolving to face the PersiansLeonidas visits the prophets and gives them medicines such as Neutrogena as their price for their consultation. They advise him that he should consult the Oracle for any advice. The Oracle, Ugly Bettyreveals that Leonidas will die should he go to war.
After reaching a decision while spending the night with his wife, Leonidas meets the soldiers assembled for his departure to Thermopylaeand finds that only thirteen were accepted in the army due to stringent requirements.
Among them are Captain, his son Sonio, and a slightly unfit Spartan named Dilio. Once at the Hot Gates, they encounter a deformed Paris Hilton also played by Parkerwho tells Leonidas and the Captain about a secret goat path above the Hot Gates that Xerxes could use to outflank the Spartans. When she asks to be made a Spartan soldier, Leonidas rejects her as unqualified due to her inability to use a spear correctly.
Leonidas and his platoon soon face off with Xerxes' messenger and his Immortals, beating them in a dance contest before driving them off a cliff.
Xerxes Ken Davitianimpressed, personally approaches Leonidas and attempts to bribe him with a trip to the Palms Hotel and Casino. Leonidas declines, and the Spartans face the Persian army in a " Yo Momma " fight, which the Spartans win, but Dilio has his eyes scratched out and wanders away.
Hilton decides to betray the Spartans and reveals the location of the goat path to Xerxes in return for various gifts and for having her deformed hump removed. Xerxes meets the twelve remaining Spartans and the war begins.
- Meet the Spartans Blu-ray
Meanwhile, back in Sparta, Queen Margo has several confrontations with Traitoro, as he is the vital vote in sending more troops to assist her husband. Heal It with Fire: One of the soldiers uses a heated spearhead to cauterize the wound of a fellow soldier on the second night.
He Didn't Make It: Few of the Greeks survived. Reinforced with the fact that Dilios was the sole survivor to return, making him the deliverer of the bad news.
Even though they are driven back during their first encounteronce the Immortals show up, the Spartans start to die. Leonidas and all Spartans, with the sole exception of Dilios, die in battle. The eponymous three hundred Spartans are doing this; they're under no illusion that they can actually win. We don't know exactly what the real Ephialtes of Trachis looked like, but he almost certainly wasn't the deformed wretch he is in this movie.
The Spartans were not this heroic in real life.
The Persians were not this villainous in real life. Hoist by His Own Petard: The Uber Immortal gets his head cut off by his own sword. The Spartans are dressed in loincloths save for their helmets and shields. This was based on the Greek fondness for athletic male figures in artwork, which fitted in well with Frank Miller's superhero comic background. The Arcadians are presented as such, having various professions and taking up arms when needed, in contrast to the Spartans, who take soldiering as their profession.
As Leonidas would put it: And by Spartan Law, we will stand and fight! Leonidas's plan to concentrate the Spartan heavy infantry at a natural choke point works so well that they slaughter wave after wave of Persians, and they even manage to push back the much-hyped Persian Elite Mooks the Immortals with minimal losses.
Leonidas knows and accepts that he has come here to die, and knows that they have not just a small chance, but zero chance of holding off the vast Persian army forever. But after managing to beat back the Immortals, even though he didn't say anything, Delios observed that he could see a glint of hope in Leonidas's eyes - desperate, mad hope - but Leonidas spent all night visibly struggling to will it away, tormented with what he intellectually knew to be false hope.
The Arcadians who come help the Spartans.
They do their part. Leonidas criticizes Athenians as "boy-lovers. When Xerxes wants to negotiate: I Like Those Odds: At the end, just before the Battle of PlataeaDilios points out that though the Persians number , they are scared out of their minds. Leonidas is always referred to as being at the front regardless of his actual position, and always having Spartans at his back even after some have been killed or left. The oracle's surreal dancing was achieved by filming the actress underwater.
Meet the Spartans
You will not enjoy this. Stelios shouts the trope name ad verbatim at the first wave of Persian footmen as they hopelessly try to break the Spartan phalanx. At the end Leonidas does a Pose of Supplicationduping King Xerxes into thinking that he was surrendering, while in actuality Leonidas only gathered his strength before the final battle. It's All About Me: Ephialtes gives up The Greeks' position to Xerxes because Leonidas would not let him join them in battle.
Forgetting for a moment Leonidas denied him for practical considerations only, Ephialtes is severely physiologically deformed, and even then the king still suggested ways he could make himself useful he essentially sells out all three-hundred men over this one 'slight. Leonidas explains to the Arcadians that despite having a numerically smaller force, he brought more soldiers then they did.
We never see the Ephors punished for selling out their country.
Meet the Spartans Movie Quotes
It might be presumed that, once corruption in the Senate was discovered, it could be traced back to them. Queen Gorgo was awesome enough to shank Theron by surprise with a borrowed sword some time after he requires a sex-bribe from her, complete with the Ironic Echo mentioned above. Xerxes demands that Leondias kneel to him as part of his sign of submission.
Leonidas replies that he's killed so many of Xerxes' soldiers that his knee is locked up.
Large and in Charge: Xerxes is the biggest Persian and the emperor. The largest by far is, of course, Leonidas. For the Spartans in this film and real life. A deformed priest voluptuously licks the young female oracle's neck and face before receiving her message about the fall of Sparta.
Like Reality Unless Noted: Averted, which many of the people criticizing the film were not aware of. Leonidas legally cannot send his army to fight the Persians. So, he decides to just take a walk.
Meet the Spartans () - Frequently Asked Questions - IMDb
To the Hot Gates. According to Leonidas, it will also protect the soldier to my left. This is historically accurate, considering all the Spartans were trained as heavy-infantry hoplites who were specifically designed with the intention of being deployed in phalanx formations. The Spartans don't need armor because their abs are harder.
The Giant Mook that Leonidas fights during the Immortals' assault takes this to an even crazier level, casually removing a spartan sword stabbed all the way through the muscles of his upper arm and continuing without any real sign of discomfort or impaired ability. The Persians go down easily. The gods saw fit to grace me with a spare. The Immortals look like ninjas with their black face masks and vaguely Japanese swords. The approach of the Persian army makes the earth tremble, and [captain guy] thinks for a moment an earthquake is happening.
A number of the Persians. The Immortals are visualized as some undefined race of humanoid monsters with killer teeth. The Persian executioner is an obese, terribly deformed bald man with blades for arms.
Every Persian soldier exists in this film to be killed by a Spartan. There's a reason why this movie is considered girl porn.